On the last day of 2015, I’m reflecting on the year. For me, it was an incredibly hard year. One of recovery, one of understanding myself and of spiritual awakening.
This time last year, I was undiagnosed, feeling terrible and trying to work from home so that I could get better and return to running my business. I was still convinced that motivation and mental strength could overcome whatever symptoms I was feeling. I still thought exercise was a good idea at a time when my health was completely collapsing.
Now I’ve been misdiagnosed and correctly diagnosed. I’ve spent a year at home: resting, reading, reflecting and writing. I’ve written a book and over 100 blog posts. I’ve examined myself and my strengths in detail. I’ve understood that the work I was doing was really harmful for me. I’ve learned a great deal about myself and what my future path should look like. I most certainly don’t have all the answers but things are getting clearer.
I’ve written articles, with one published. I’ve sampled public speaking about my experience and am grateful for that opportunity and the learning I gained from it. I’ve thought a lot about what kind of work I should be doing, work that makes the most of my talents and strengths. I’ve read so many books in the positive psychology field and have learned a great deal about how to build a happy life.
I’ve altered the relationships in my life. Some may judge me for being harsh but I had to cut people out of my life, and push others further away. And it was for survival, not because I’m a mean person. I’ve had to implement boundaries in relationships that were not working well and I’ve made some new friends and strengthened old friendships.
I’ve learned so much about the metaphysical and the effect of the mind and emotions on the body and our health. I’ve benefited from alternative healing practices that I would never have explored before my burnout. I’ve worked hard on healing myself, inside and out. And I’ve relished the chance to expand my views on spirituality.
Not everyone can appreciate the journey I’ve taken in 2015 and it’s something I can only share with a few people. Not everyone has been supportive and understanding. I’m sure some people think I’ve loved not working and even some may think I’m lazy or weak or useless. But they have not walked my path. They have not lived through my struggles and seen how much I gave to the things and people I believe in.
As 2015 is washed away and 2016 arrives, I’m hoping that I have passed rock bottom and that my health and my life are on the up. Strike that, I’m not hoping, I’m going to make sure of it. At times I feel incredibly alone but I do know that somewhere in the world, there is someone feeling like I feel. And I’m hoping that my writing can reach people in a positive way in 2016. That would bring great meaning to my life and I look forward to what the new year brings.Follow me: