I haven’t written this blog for a while, and I wish I could say that it’s because I’m so busy working. The truth is that I’ve been quite worried and stuck about my career lately. My book is getting close to completion and it’s in the final layout stages. The lifelong dream I have had about writing a book is very close to being realised.
So why have I felt so stuck? I haven’t managed to secure any speaking opportunities lately. There are many opportunities to speak but very few are paid opportunities. I have felt despondent and that perhaps there are some subconscious blocks to earning income. Am I sabotaging myself? I do know that I’ve been holding back a bit since I’d prefer to have the book complete when I perform speeches. It’s far better to have the book ready and to use the opportunity to promote it. But this waiting is excruciating.
I have also perhaps been a bit scared about what life looks like with a lot of opportunities. Will I jump in head first and forget to care for myself? Will I set my recovery backwards if I take on too much? How will I say no after all this time of not earning income?
I caught a nasty case of the flu last week from my children. The three of us were sick and it was so difficult to care for them, while I was feeling awful. It reminded me of how far I’ve come with my recovery from burnout. And what things were like when I had no energy to look after them properly.
I love routine. I’ve created a few rituals before I start my day, in order to promote creativity and to help me to feel calm. I love my life and my family and I wouldn’t want things to change much (just the income part). So when I got sick, I just threw the routine out of the window. I abandoned everything and just looked after myself and the kids. I made recovery a priority, much like the past few years.
I actually found it quite liberating. I felt a little more free and I’ve been shaking things up ever since. This idea of making a deck of cards to accompany my book, has emerged from a few sources and I had abandoned it previously. I recently got advice to resurrect the cards. It has given me something to work on while I wait for my book to be ready. It is an opportunity to be creative and to make something that I can sell to earn income.
It’s so great to have direction and to feel excited about something. This morning, I simply could not wait to get to work in my sanctuary. I could not wait to put my ideas down and to figure out how I’m going to bring them to the world. This is how I think work should feel. I didn’t want to come inside last night and cook dinner – I just wanted to keep working on the cards.
As nasty as that flu was, it helped me in a way. I am completely relishing being back at yoga and am super grateful for the ability to exercise. I really missed that when I was very ill. The routine shake up probably created a shift for me and helped me to find direction towards something greatly rewarding.
What could you do to shake things up in your life and break thorugh blocks? Are there ways you could bring more joy into your life that you are not acting on?Follow me: