Babies and small children tend to tug at earrings and beads. I found it quite annoying to be constantly defending my accessories from my curious children. So I put my fun accessories away and decided to stop wearing them until they were older. I also got those glasses with the really bendy frames so that the grabbing wouldn’t result in broken glasses and a huge expense in replacing them.


I remember being amazed that our peadiatrician wore big beads despite the fact that she was around babies and children all day. She just learned to dodge the little grabbing hands. I thought she was crazy but then I realised that she can’t put it of until the kids are older because it’s her job to care for babies and little children. The grabbing didn’t deter her from being who she wanted to be and from expressing herself naturally.

I have come to realise that sacrificing things that I enjoy and expressing myself fully is unhealthy. I didn’t realise that I was harming myself by putting off things that made me happy. I did that with more than the accessories too. I didn’t go on women’s retreats and I didn’t do yoga in the mornings because of school. And I kept telling myself that I’ll get to it when they’re older. But how old do they have to be for me to start doing the things that I love and start enjoying life fully?  It is alarming how easily one can get into the habit of self sacrifice.

I had kids quite late in life so they are not leaving the house any time soon. I’m facing another thirteen years of school. I have resolved not to put off the things that I love doing and wearing any longer. I should have just learned to work around my growing children and not put my needs aside.

I’m sure we all have a ‘bucket list’ or things we’d like to do before we die. I have many things on mine like taking a cruise, going in a hot air balloon, seeing the northern lights and a few more. I don’t want to put them off until I retire. Who knows what will happen then. I might be too ill to travel or to hoist myself into the basket of that balloon.

I think life is for experiencing and as I’ve written before, the power of novelty has a significant effect on our happiness. I have really enjoyed all the experiences I’ve had in alternative healing on my way to recovery. I’ve done a few other interesting things like fish therapy and shooting a gun. These things don’t cost a lot of money but they really contribute to our happiness in a big way.

I often wonder what someone really selfish would think of the things that I write. I really write for people who are more like me. People who give so much of themselves that they find themselves depleted. The sensitive ones. You don’t have to tell a selfish person or a taker, to prioritise their needs. Hopefully this message is properly understood by the people for whom it’s intended: don’t sacrifice yourself and your needs unless it’s really necessary or temporary. And try to become aware of when you are sacrificing so that it doesn’t become a way of life.

Life is for living. Don’t put off the things you want to do or wear any longer. I think many of the sacrifices we make are ones that we think our loved ones want. It could merely be an assumption. I’m focussing on caring for myself and allowing myself to express my needs fully. After all, I know that making me happy has a positive effect on my household.


What are you sacrificing for others that isn’t completely necessary?

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I am a champion for living your passion. Writing is my passion, my destiny and my calling. I am a mother of two beautiful daughters and a wife and live in Johannesburg, South Africa.

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